


One Mistake

by cyrodilicbrandy



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Rewrite, and aged up slightly, pre-KH3, slight AU, unspoken feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 06:00:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19267237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyrodilicbrandy/pseuds/cyrodilicbrandy
Summary: Sora loves Kairi.Riku loves Kairi.Kairi loves both of them.





	One Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> What follows is an attempt at a rewrite of a fanfic written either in or before 2012. Re-reading that old work physically pained me at times: I ran ahead with the plot and didn't wrap it up satisfactorily (IMHO), but even with that it was my second most popular fanfic. Thanks to ParadiseAvenger for unknowingly giving me inspiration to attempt a rewrite. 
> 
> If you happened to read this on ff.net all those years ago, I hope you enjoy what I do with this rewrite. If you're new to this, I hope you enjoy it full stop. I am not putting too many tags in this to try not to spoil anything, but it is likely to get pretty dark.

Riku got there first.

Panting, the two friends stopped at the paper star for just a second, before Riku flashed his signature grin and dashed off again, nimbly leaping from tree to tree. Muttering a breathless curse, Sora followed, his muscles tensing as he mimicked Riku's actions, albeit less gracefully than the other teenager.

Kairi watched and waited below, cheering and clapping, although it wasn't clear who she was cheering for exactly. Riku's enthusiasm to win was matched only by his stamina, and as he finally reached the door to the other side of the island, he faintly heard another curse from Sora and Kairi's own rushing footsteps. Turning, trying not to look too smug, Riku waited for the approach of his two best friends, heart hammering from the exertion; although he had to bite back his bark of laughter at Sora's thunderous expression.

"One day," Kairi was saying, even through her own amused expression. "One day you'll get there first."

"Yeah," Sora replied, his chest heaving. As his breathing started to calm down, his lips tilted upwards slightly as Kairi placed her hand on his shoulder, the motion reassuring. 

Riku felt his heart jar in his chest for just a moment, although it had nothing to do with his previous exertions. 

"One day," he joined in, flashing that grin once more in an attempt to cover any change in his expression he might have let slip through. "One day, in a few years.  _Maybe._ "

Kairi's eyes flashed him a look as Sora's arms crossed over his chest, and he pushed past Riku, silently sulking. 

"He's trying, you know." Kairi said quietly, as Sora disappeared through the door, and she stepped a little closer to Riku, her eyes still showing a mixture of amusement and vague scolding. 

Riku felt a little hotter all of a sudden under her slightly disapproving stare - but that was probably just the heat of the sun beating down upon him, and he had just been running. Hadn't he?

Except he knew it wasn't that at all. 

"Yeah," he said, his face now impassive. "But how is he ever gonna get better if he never feels like he has to?"

Every time he challenged Sora, teased him about something, he knew that his best friend would stop at nothing to try and best the older boy. Riku's words to Kairi in that moment were perfectly honest - he truly wanted Sora to be the best he could be, truly wanted him to take those chances, those opportunities. He refused to entertain the reasoning behind failing to urge Sora to bite the bullet and confess to Kairi.

His stomach twisted painfully at the thought, and he turned away towards the door, hearing Kairi's steps behind him and following. As the two headed through, he heard Kairi say: "Maybe cut him a little slack though. You know how he takes his losses." Riku said nothing, the clenching in his stomach intensifying for just a moment.

Sora sometimes couldn't help sulking, or wallowing in his losses, whether they were big or inconsequential, this was true. Would Sora consider Kairi to be one of those losses? Sure, Sora had never, would never, consider Kairi 'his' - but that didn't mean he wouldn't be hurt. And Riku would be the reason he would hurt.

Kairi, perhaps sensing a change in Riku, pressed her hand to his arm, the same way she had done so to Sora, and Riku felt that warmth spread through him again. 

Stepping back out into the other side, they could see Sora's recogniseable silhouette against the midday sun, leaning his back against the bark, his hands behind his head. Kairi took the lead now, taking her place in the centre of the tree, her legs swinging idly. Sora turned his head away from the sea and gave her a smile, which Riku could tell she returned from the movement in her cheek. He reached the two of them and leaned against the tree with a soft exhalation of breath. His green eyes scanned the horizon as they always did. 

"You know," he started, and he could feel two pairs of blue eyes fall on him. "You were closer this time, Sora." Riku turned his head just in time to see Kairi lift a hand to her mouth to cover the quirking of her lips, and Sora's eyes rolling up towards the heavens. "I'm serious," he insisted. 

"He's not wrong," Kairi intoned, with a nod. 

"Yeah - it wasn't like that time you fell face first onto the sand from the zipline."

Sora's face darkened at the memory, and when Riku laughed his deep laugh, Kairi's eyes landed on him with that playfully stern look that he loved. 

And that was the problem, wasn't it? What was there about Kairi that he didn't love? If there  _was_ something, he couldn't think of it. He knew it was the same for Sora, yet Sora had done nothing about it. He'd had all this time since their return to make his move on her, and he hadn't. Riku knew that Kairi liked Sora, and thought maybe that she liked  _him_ too, yet she hadn't said anything to either of them. It was getting intolerable - the worst that would happen if Riku confessed to Kari would be something like this: she'd thank him for his attention, perhaps be flattered. She'd confess the strength of her feelings for Sora, and they'd simply be friends again. Maybe a little awkwardness at first, but then Riku would do his best to encourage her, and Sora, to make their affections for the other known. He was used to being by himself anyway. 

But what if she did say she liked him? What if - what if they got together?

Riku's throat felt dry at the idea. Sora would not take it well, and yet he'd had all this time to make his feelings known. Why hadn't he? What was he waiting for? And did Riku want to hurt his best friend like that?

_No. But I do want Kairi._

He came back into the conversation the other two were having, his brows furrowed as he tried to catch up. Riku was often quiet enough that sometimes whole conversations would pass around him without anyone talking to him, although he also knew that both Sora and Kairi were perceptive enough to know when he was lost in his thoughts, and so they would often know not to interrupt his reveries with their chatter.

"No, I guess not," Sora was saying, and Kairi's head was tilted as if she was thinking, although she said nothing, so Riku was completely lost. His expression mildly amused, his eyes travelled between his two friends, although before he could ask what they had been talking about, Kairi spoke, capturing the attentions of both boys immediately, as always. 

"I hope you guys have got me some awesome presents, by the way," she teased, lips curving into a smile. 

_Oh, right._ Kairi's birthday. It was tomorrow, and her eighteenth, and she had been buzzing with excitement about it for a while now. Riku opened his mouth to tease her back when Sora sat upright, his face frozen in an embarrassed grin. Riku could tell he was trying to hide it, but deception was not one of Sora's strong points; so when Sora leapt from the tree, shouting out a quick apology as he ran to the side of the bridge and dropped onto the sand and continued towards the docks, he could see one of Kairi's brows lift into her hair, and Riku knew he was off to do something for Kairi's birthday.  She turned, and the two of them, now alone, shared a look full of amusement for their goofball of a friend.

"Gee," Kairi said, her tone dry. "I wonder what's gotten into him."

Riku shrugged, affecting an unknowing expression, even as his body shook in silent laughter. "Dunno, Kairi. Maybe he left the water running." That made Kairi laugh, her voice carrying over the song of the waves, and with a start Riku realised that they were now alone. His muscles tensed and he tried to fix his face back into the amused grin he'd put on earlier - too late. Kairi, ever caring and perceptive, noticed it, and her laugh died away to be replaced with a look of concern. She shuffled closer to him along the curved tree, and as she leaned forwards, her red hair came down to frame her face perfectly. 

"You okay, Riku? You've been a bit off today." She gave him an encouraging smile, and Riku's heart hammered once more in his chest.

He took in a deep breath.

* * *

Sora's feet pounded on the sand as he ran towards the docks, his heart beating with a mixture of excitement and anticipation. He'd completely forgotten it was Kairi's birthday tomorrow, somehow. With the playful teasing both Riku and Kairi had graced him with earlier, he'd been so focused on sulking that the thing he had been planning for such a long time had slipped his mind. He almost stumbled straight over his boat and into the clear blue water as his enthusiasm reached a peak he couldn't control, now that he had remembered. 

As he began to row back towards the mainland, he vaguely wondered if his hasty departure had made it obvious that it was something to do with Kairi's birthday, but he didn't really mind if that was the case. And besides, let her try and guess what he had planned. His smile slipped and his rowing slowed as he thought about her reaction. What if she didn't like it, didn't like him back? What if he was just setting himself up for embarrassment, for rejection? But somewhere in his mind, he was  _sure_ that it would be fine, and his rowing speed increased.

He'd been waiting for a moment like tomorrow for a while now. His feelings for Kairi, for a long time assumed to simply be a deep friendship, had very quickly developed into a deep  _love._ Since the three of them had returned, he'd been silently battling with this realisation of his feelings, and his uncertainty over her own. His confidence, once so unshakeable, had been tested sorely since the day of the storm, and he thought back to those times with nostalgia and longing. If the trio hadn't been whisked away from their home under such horrible circumstances, Sora knew he would have been able to face Kairi long before now, to confess to her.

As it was, his plan to confess to her was indirect - he was so scared of seeing the look on her face when she realised the strength of his feelings for her, if they were not feelings she reciprocated. She was kind, and lovely, and caring, and he  _knew_ she wouldn't want to hurt him. But he also knew that she would be honest. It was one of the many, many reasons he loved her so much. Seeing the look in her eyes as she gave him a sad smile, shaking her head, rejecting him... Sora's stomach tightened and a dizzy feeling swam through his brain as he pushed the thoughts away. He would continue to love her, regardless, and he tried to tell himself that it didn't matter if they weren't  _together_ \- that being friends, that being there for each other when they needed each other was enough. 

It wasn't quite working. 

For a few weeks now, Sora's plan had been slowly solidifying. His mother watched him skim through recipe books, tongue sticking out from the corner of his mouth in concentration, with a loving smile, as he tried to find the cake that spoke to him, that screamed  _Kairi._ That hadn't been the hardest part, though. Sora was not a cook, he had no natural skill, and his impatience tempered the guidance his mother tried to give him as he practised and practised preparing and baking this special cake. 

"Sora, why don't you just go to the bakery and get one made? Kairi wouldn't mind, you know she wouldn't." Sora's mother said one day, when Sora pulled out a very singed sponge from the oven, his shoulders slumping in disappointment. Sora had shaken his head emphatically. 

"No, mom, I  _have_ to make it myself." Sora's mom had nodded, smiled, given her son a reassuring hug. With his mom's help, he had almost managed to get the cake perfectly baked. They had eaten a  _lot_ of leftover cake the past few weeks. 

But with Kairi's birthday being tomorrow, Sora only had one more chance to perfect the cake, and with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he realised he had been so focused on the  _baking_ of the cake, he'd spent very little time on the  _decorating_ of the thing. As he tied up his boat, he continued his jogging pace towards his house, where his mother bustled around the kitchen, humming a soft tune to herself. Upon seeing her son rush in, panting, for a moment she gave him a look of concern, but it quickly vanished as he grinned at her and pulled up his sleeves. 

"I think I've got the cake down now," he said, his voice confident even as his thoughts weren't. "Just the message to practice." 

The message he'd had prepared for an even longer time than the idea about the cake, and it was the most important part. Even if the cake itself happened to end up being a disaster, the message itself needed to be legible. 

No matter what, it would say  _I love you_ , but he'd agonised on what to add.  _Will you go out with me_ was too childish.  _Be mine_ was too possessive. He'd run through a dozen different ways to trying to ask Kairi to be with him, but they all seemed off, somehow. None of them really seemed to capture the gravity of what he was really feeling, what he really wanted. And so finally, he settled with just  _I love you_. 

He tried not to think too hard about her actually  _seeing_ it,  _reacting_ to it, and again tried to tell himself it didn't matter if she didn't  _love_ him the same way he loved and adored her - they had been friends for what, fourteen years, or so? It might be a little awkward at first, but he couldn't wait any more. He had to tell her, had to be honest. He knew Kairi enough that she would appreciate his honesty, at the very least. Maybe she'd be flattered by the attention, and maybe, even if she didn't reciprocate his feelings exactly, just maybe she might say yes anyway and give him a chance. The very idea of that possibility caused his heart to stop in his chest as he prepared the cake's ingredients under his mother's distant, yet perceptive eye. 

In the depths of his mind lingered a thought he unconsciously refused to entertain, but his body reacted nonetheless, his hands tightening around the whisk as if in concentration. 

He didn't think about Riku at all. 

* * *

Kairi's blue eyes blinked one, then again, and slowly she let out the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. Riku's expression betrayed the tension she could feel they both shared. She didn't ask him what he meant, or to repeat himself - she wouldn't insult his intelligence like that, nor did she want to make him more uncomfortable.

The silence between them was steadily reaching a truly awkward peak, and what could she say that wasn't inane? She hadn't been expecting such a declaration and had had no time no time to prepare. 

Riku's eyes turned back towards the sea, full of consternation, and Kairi felt a strange mixture of emotions rush through her.

The thing was that she felt the same - had done for a while. Riku was cool, collected, mature, tall, and she wouldn't lie: very good-looking.The way his eyes crinkled at the corners whenever he laughed made her feel buoyant, and she was one of the few people whose teasing she could tolerate. If it was just that simple, though, there would be no problem. But it wasn't that simple, was it? Because this deep love, this regard, this affection, that she felt for one of her best friends was something that she felt exactly the same for the other. 

Sora was everything Riku wasn't. Where Riku could be closed-off, taciturn, Sora was open, cheerful, the sheer magnetic force of his charisma winning over new friends wherever he went. He was cute, and funny, and his eyes - so similar to her own in size and colour - were always guileless, and she often found herself melting silently under his gaze. 

How was it possible to have fallen in love with two so very different people? And two very different best friends, to boot? Although she would sometimes daydream of one of the other (sometimes their faces blended together in a dizzying fashion), she had almost begun to despair of either of them ever saying anything to her. She had known of Sora's strong regard for her for years now, although she'd always wondered if it was ever _more_ than that. Riku's affections, on the other hand, had always seemed like nothing more than a very strong responsibility to look after her, to protect her.

Well, until now. 

When Kairi had leaned her head forwards, asking him what was wrong, she'd expected him to casually wave a hand and brush away her concern, as he so often did. What she had _not_ expected was to see the tips of his ears redden and clash spectacularly against his silver hair, as his mouth opened and closed like a stranded fish. Her own eyes had widened in silent amazement at this reaction before his quietly spoken confession turned her expression of vague amusement into one of shock.

"Kairi," he'd started, and in hindsight she only now realised the reverence in his voice as he'd spoken her name. Had that always been there? After a pause, the struggle clear on his face, he continued, the words almost spilling out from his mouth. "Wanted to say this for a while now. Didn't know how to, I guess. I love you, Kairi. Think I always have. I'm not... I don't know... _expecting_ anything. I just wanted to tell you."

The silence that grew between the two of them after his words was still unbroken when Kairi let out her breath in a soft exhale. 

She was gratified, flattered even, to know Riku's feelings for her, and she allowed herself to imagine it, their relationship together. Under the midday sun, she suddenly felt flushed and her hand clenched against the bark of the tree she was sitting upon, but the feeling was suddenly squashed by a painful tightening in the pit of her stomach as, in her mind's eye, Riku's face turned into Sora's.

_Sora..._

Sora had said nothing, done nothing, all this time, and despite her feelings for him, she wondered if it was selfish to put her own affection for Riku before Sora. Either way, it was an unenviable position, and she couldn't help but feel a little trapped. If she chose one of her friends over the other, she knew the other would get hurt. But then, if she did nothing, no one would be happy. Kairi wasn't selfish, or at least she wouldn't have considered herself selfish, and yet - what of her own happiness? She had been wondering and waiting for so long to only be caught in this position. 

So Kairi responded to Riku in the only way she knew how: with complete honesty.

"Riku," she began, and Riku turned his eyes back to her, almost warily. Giving him a soft smile, she continued. "Thank you for telling me. I hope this doesn't sound selfish, but I... I like the way knowing you love me makes me feel." She lifted a hand and pressed it over her heart, which was beating incessantly, and the wary look in Riku's green eyes faded as he returned her smile.

"I love you too," she said, her voice catching in her throat. She'd never said it out loud before to anyone other than her parents, and the words seemed to hang in the air between them, filling the new silence with something almost magical, although the thought made her feel like a child. 

Riku's eyes disappeared behind his eyelids, and upon looking at him closely, she could make out the rhythm of his heart through the subtle jumping of his skin.

"Like you, it's something I've know for a while." Kairi paused, the aura of the conversation changing into something more pointed, broaching the crux of the matter.

"But-"

Riku cut her off, not unkindly. "-Sora," he finished, and they nodded and sighed in unison.

"Yeah," he said, his voice low. "You love him too. It's fine-" he added quickly, seeing her open her mouth to speak, as if trying to preempt her words. "-if you want him. It's fine, you know. I just wanted to tell you. I get it. It's... fine."

He seemed to be trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince her. Kairi shook her head, legs swinging from the tree, slowly. 

"That's not what I was going to say, exactly. I mean,  _yes_ , I do love Sora. The same way I love you. But I don't know if he feels the same, or maybe... I don't know, maybe I missed the clues?" Letting out a short sigh, she shook her head a second time, as if clearing out thoughts.

"The thing is... if he _does_ , and I, you know... _we_..." Riku's expression twisted, his lips pressed tightly together, and Kairi knew he was thinking the same thing.

The very idea that she do anything to hurt Sora, intentionally or otherwise, caused her heart to ache painfully, and the new tension she felt from Riku told her his thoughts were running on the same line. With that unspoken realisation between them, she spoke again, her voice only slightly hesitant. 

"I think, before anything else, I should... talk to Sora. Should have talked to him a long time ago, I guess." Riku nodded once, in agreement, before his eyes found hers again. Her cheeks felt warm and inwardly she scolded herself for acting like such a child as she longed to gaze back at him. Forcing herself to break eye contact, she instead looked down at her swinging feet. "I think it's important to know... where Sora stands. And then... I don't know. If he  _does_ like me-"

"He does." Riku's voice was flat, his eyes narrowed. "He does."

Kairi floundered for a second, her teeth worrying at her lower lip. "Oh," A part of her had actually hoped Sora didn't feel anything more for her than deep friendship. That would have made it so much easier - she and Riku could be together, no one would be hurt, although perhaps the casual and playful rivalry between the two boys would increase to even further heights. But then they all three would be happy together. No one would feel left out. 

As Kairi's thoughts turned inward, Riku spoke up again. "But you should talk to him anyway. And... honestly, like I said... I'm... not expecting anything. I don't want Sora to hurt either." Kairi looked over in time to see the pain flash across Riku's face for an instant before his expression turned once more impassive, and instinctively she shuffled closer, ready to comfort him. "If you were both happy. And safe. That's... fine."

The love she felt for him seemed to balloon in her chest, as guilt blossomed there too, and she slid from the tree, idly brushing away any bark that stuck to her clothes. Catching him unawares, her arms came up around his chest and she hugged him, expelling a breath of near silent laughter as he stiffened, shocked, in her hold. "I don't want to hurt you, either," she said, her voice muffled against the crook of his neck. "Look - I'll speak to Sora. Not tomorrow, I just want to enjoy my birthday - but after that. We'll... we'll figure something out. A way we can all be happy." She leaned her head back, her arms still holding him, to meet his eyes, and as his own arms slowly responded to mirror her embrace, she nodded as if bolstering her point. 

If Riku didn't share her hope, he did a tremendous job at hiding it, and it was her turn to be shocked when he dipped his head towards hers and placed a soft kiss to her brow. At her reaction, he laughed, his shoulders shaking, and Kairi heard herself laughing along with him. In Riku's arms like this, the anxiety at his confession, at her impending discussion with Sora, and the fallout from whatever followed that, bled away.

She felt safe, loved, happy. 

She hoped it would last. 


End file.
